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Posts Tagged Steve’s column

steve’s funny column

May 11th, 2017

Baseball’s hits, wits and bad hops

By STEVE LANG

“You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.” — Mickey Mantle

“Alan Sutton Sothoron pitched his initials off today.” — Anonymous, St. Louis newspaper

Hall of Fame shortstop Honus Wagner summed up the game succinctly, saying, “There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

April 27th, 2017

Children’s memories debunk father’s expertise

By STEVE LANG

“An expert knows all the answers – if you ask the right questions.” – Levi Strauss

“I am an expert in electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.” – W.C. Fields

Relying on the observation that fellow residents ignored and scoffed the poet Homer in …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

January 12th, 2017

Winter destinations and accompanying logic

By STEVE LANG

“Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it’s been.” – Grateful Dead (Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, Robert Hunter)

When is it appropriate to crank the Grateful Dead’s “Truckin’” to full volume?

According to Balgaard, at 2:30 a.m. on a non-stop jaunt from Minnesota to Colorado to …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

September 29th, 2016

Some days – and relationships – are truly diamonds

By STEVE LANG

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.” – Anonymous

Ed and Helen Jane Morrison have …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

July 16th, 2015

How Swede it is – or isn’t

By STEVE LANG

“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey

Among the greater oxymorons of our time, “political correctness” joins “jumbo shrimp,” “mud bath” and may answer a question I posed two decades ago:

“Does teaching continuing …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

June 25th, 2015

Fatherly wisdom quickly surpassed

By STEVE LANG

           “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart

“A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be.” — Carol Coats

            If I could name the best thing about being a father, …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

June 18th, 2015

Batter up: tracing baseball’s Renaissance roots

 By STEVE LANG

 “The strongest thing that baseball has going for it today are its yesterdays.” – Lawrence Ritter

“Baseball is a game dominated by vital ghosts; it’s a fraternity, like no other we have of the active and the no longer so, the living and the dead.” – Richard Gilman

Historians have …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

September 4th, 2014

Getting higher 14 years later

By STEVE LANG

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” – Michael Althsuler

Every 14 years or so, I take the opportunity to ride in a balloon.

If all goes well, when I finally go aloft untethered, I will be the approximate age of my two aunts who …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

August 28th, 2014

The Dude abides

 

By STEVE LANG

“Look, let me explain something to you. I’m not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude.” – Jeff Bridges (a.k.a. Jeffrey Lebowski) in “The Big Lebowski.”

In my ongoing quest for self-identity, I take online quizzes, most recently to answer the question:

“How am I aging?”

Apparently, I am aging like the Dude, …

steve’s column

steve’s column

August 21st, 2014

Small towns, memories and a beer

By STEVE LANG

“The nice thing about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you’re doing, someone else does.” – Immanuel Kant

My last actual stop in my hometown was accidental: due to broken car part on Christmas Day, 2002.

Steve in …

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