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Posts Tagged Steve Lang

steve’s funny column

May 11th, 2017

Baseball’s hits, wits and bad hops

By STEVE LANG

“You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.” — Mickey Mantle

“Alan Sutton Sothoron pitched his initials off today.” — Anonymous, St. Louis newspaper

Hall of Fame shortstop Honus Wagner summed up the game succinctly, saying, “There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

April 27th, 2017

Children’s memories debunk father’s expertise

By STEVE LANG

“An expert knows all the answers – if you ask the right questions.” – Levi Strauss

“I am an expert in electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.” – W.C. Fields

Relying on the observation that fellow residents ignored and scoffed the poet Homer in …

steve’s funny column

April 6th, 2017

Quarterly additions to Lang’s greatest wits list

By STEVE LANG

“I love criticism just so long as it is unqualified praise.” – Noel Coward

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.” – Dorothy Parker

Thanks again to my readers – who have reached the dozens when falling for the …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

March 30th, 2017

Remembering Dan Logan

By STEVE LANG

Dan Logan

“Do not stand at my grave and weep/I am not there; I do not sleep.” – Mary Elizabeth Frye

“Bad jokes, Man, I love ‘em/Bad jokes, can’t get enough of ‘em,” – sung by Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly in “A Prairie Home Companion”

My longtime friend, Dr. Dan Logan, …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

January 19th, 2017

Abundant reader feedback

By STEVE LANG

“Unless a reviewer has the courage to give you unqualified praise, I say ignore the bastard.” – John Steinbeck

“If you can’t annoy somebody, there’s little point in writing.” – Kingsley Amis

A writer without readers is like a traveler without a destination, or some such seemingly poignant observation that reads well hot …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

January 12th, 2017

Winter destinations and accompanying logic

By STEVE LANG

“Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it’s been.” – Grateful Dead (Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, Robert Hunter)

When is it appropriate to crank the Grateful Dead’s “Truckin’” to full volume?

According to Balgaard, at 2:30 a.m. on a non-stop jaunt from Minnesota to Colorado to …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

December 15th, 2016

Bringing it all back home

By STEVE LANG

“A young man /from a small town/ with a very large imagination.” – John Prine

John Klingemann’s achievements sum up the high aspirations many parents have for their children.

I, on the other hand, may best exemplify one of Jimmy Buffett’s songs, as one of “the people our parents warned us …

Turkey trots, pizza crawls, and airport cots

Turkey trots, pizza crawls, and airport cots

December 8th, 2016

By STEVE LANG

“People say there’s delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

November 23rd, 2016

Conversations with countrymen

By STEVE LANG

“Travel makes all men countrymen, makes people noblemen and kings, every man tasting of liberty and dominion.” – Amos Bronson Alcott

“Just a little lefse will go a long way.” – Doug Setterberg

Four Norwegians walked into a brewery . . . and after meeting this Swede, probably wondered if this was some …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

November 17th, 2016

Talking turkey in various and altered states

By STEVE LANG

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – Johnny Carson

“If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it …

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