steve’s column

May 23rd, 2013

Appreciating teachers’ tolerance

By STEVE LANG

“There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July and August.” – Unknown

In another setting, fumbling with scissors and flubbing finger painting may have doomed me to eternal life in the first grade.

However, my teacher, Miss Lynne – for whom our elementary school was already named – …

steve’s column

May 23rd, 2013

M is for a multitude of mirthful memories

By STEVE LANG

“May you stay forever young.” – Bob Dylan

My 91-year-old mother still bakes and sends her 63-year-old son cookies, while I tell her jokes.

During this past Tuesday’s phone call, she said she had mailed 57 cookies “and a few other goodies to fill up the box.”

In …

steve’s column

May 23rd, 2013

Inter-netting more fishy tales

By STEVE LANG

“If an eel lunges out/and it bites off your snout/that’s a moray…” – Anonymous

My father used to tell me that the secret of successful fishing was to fish at the same mentality as the fish.

In other words, don’t go overboard trying to outsmart them, no matter how many times you …

steve’s column

May 2nd, 2013

Measuring jobs by meter and lyrics

By STEVE LANG

“I’m a lumberjack and I’m O.K….” – from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, sung by Michael Palin

Nadine Stair wrote that if she had her life to live over, she would have picked more daisies.

I write, if I had my life to live over, I should have been an actuary.

Or …

steve’s column

April 25th, 2013

Recovering Scandinavian

By STEVE LANG

“It has been said that the only thing that ever changes in the Lutheran Church is the color of the Jell-O® served at the monthly potluck dinners.” – submitted by Duane in Iowa

The first time I heard the 70s song “Betcha By Golly, Wow,” I suspected one of my Minnesota Scandinavian neighbors …

steve’s column

April 19th, 2013

Back to Boquillas

By STEVE LANG

“We took a rowboat ‘cross the Rio Grande/Captain Pablo was our guide/For two dollars in a weathered hand/He rowed us to the other side.” – from “Gringo Honeymoon,” by Robert Earl Keen

I toured downtown Boquillas, Mexico before I ever heard “Gringo Honeymoon” or met Robert Earl Keen, although all three experiences …

steve’s column

April 19th, 2013

Baseball still the game for all reasons

By STEVE LANG

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.” – Dave Barry

“Beethoven can’t really be great because his picture isn’t on a …

steve’s column

March 28th, 2013

Do inquiring minds really want to know?

By STEVE LANG

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” – Tom Clancy, paraphrasing Mark Twain

“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.” – Dave Barry

I gather information from a …

steve’s column

March 21st, 2013

Fishing, pheasants and fun

By STEVE LANG

“Anybody who ain’t out huntin’ and fishin’ is jest fritterin’ away his life.” – Rancid Crabtee, a.k.a. Patrick McManus

“Everyone should believe in something. I believe I’ll go fishing.” – Henry David Thoreau

There comes a time in every one’s life, and Mike Fluegel and I shared a few.

Cancer claimed Mike …

Steve’s column

March 14th, 2013

Brain awareness and other medical precautions

By STEVE LANG

“The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure.” – Voltaire

I have learned, if folks live long enough, most will become ill, get better or perhaps take a turn for the nurse.

But with the possible exception of the aging banker in “Mary Poppins”, …