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Posts Tagged ask a mexican

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

September 4th, 2014

The Mexi-mullet ready for style re-birth

 

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexian: After having done labor organizing work with Mexicans, I am greatly puzzled as to why all the white, lower-class Mexicans I have come across have these weird, ratty hairdos that are so God-awful that they rival what my male redneck cousins were doing to themselves in …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

August 21st, 2014

Big bad border fences and wrought iron creations

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican:

What’s up with all the elaborate wrought iron fences in the Mexican parts of town? It almost seems like everyone is trying to outdo each other with these amazing displays of metallurgy. Is it just another way to try to protect the cars parked on …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

August 14th, 2014

US immigration policy encourages lying

 By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: I’m not Mexican, but my son-in-law is. He is intelligent, bright, enthusiastic and pleasant to spend time with. He came here, illegally, at the age of 18 with his aunts. He and my daughter are married, have a three-and-a-half-year-old son, and have gone through the entire process …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

August 7th, 2014

Forget Montezuma’s revenge and enjoy the enchiladas

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I’m a handsome exemplar of the bronce race living in the motherland. I’m dating a beautiful and wonderful gringuita who is soon taking a trip over the border from the U.S. to Mexico for the first time to visit me, and my pinche big family. …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

July 31st, 2014

Dissing the mother tongue and Mexican food

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: What is it about the many gringos/gabachos who constantly slaughter Spanish words? Spanish is easy to pronounce- and spell – compared to English. The vowels – a, e, i, o, u – are always pronounced the same way. In English, vowels vary a lot, making it …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

February 20th, 2014

Mexicans are vegetarians, too

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: Do you agree with gente who think you can’t be vegetarian if you’re Mexican ’cause meat is an essential part of our diet? I’ve heard this argument three times within the last 24 hours from two blogs and The Today Show this morning. I think it’s babosadas. Like, …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

November 27th, 2013

Manufacturing scapegoats through lack of education

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO 

Dear Mexican: My father and mother were able to come over because after the “yellow scare” was over, the States didn’t seem to mind that Chinese were coming over here by the boat loads.  Since my parents were given visas and green cards pretty easily, my father was …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

October 24th, 2013

‘Yo quiero Taco Bell,’ but please pronounce jalapeño correctly

 

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican:

The other day, I went to Taco Bell and hit the drive-through. At the window, I ordered something with jalapeños. When I spoke the sacred “jalapeno” word with my gawky gringo accent, the illegal Mexican at the cash register corrected my pronunciation by repeating the word slowly …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

October 17th, 2013

Too hip for the hood

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: My wife and I are looking to buy our first house. Being young (ish) and hip (ish) we’re looking into buying in Santa Ana (California). It’s amazing how much house and land you can get for $350K compared to the two-bedroom stacked cracker boxes in South OC …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

October 3rd, 2013

Americans’ trash is Mexicans’ treasures

 By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: I know why the Mexican man digs in the trashcan: he can’t believe what Americans throw away. My mom was from Northern Ireland and we got many treasures over the years from walking past our neighbors’ trashcans. She grew up dirt-poor and could not believe all the …

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