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¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

March 13th, 2014

A special best of edición

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: The current clothing trend is for ladies to wear low-cut jeans and belly shirts that expose their midriffs. That looks great on a hard-bodied woman, so why do so many stout Mexican mujeres insist on dressing like this? It’s one of the grossest things imaginable. Their belly …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

March 13th, 2014

Spring break and staying in place

By STEVE LANG

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.” – Carl Sagan

Spring break getaways prompt the question:

Where do the people who live on the warm, sunny beaches go?

Actually, Alpine offers all I need, want or could do without, including: pleasant weather, …

Sarah@SXSW

Sarah@SXSW

March 11th, 2014

“Official Sarah M. Vasquez Fangirl Day”

By SARAH M. VASQUEZ

Sorry, it took a while to update on South by Southwest. It’s been non-stop working for the actual festival and taking in events when I can, but I’ve seen some pretty cool stuff. I know I said I would try to cover events relevant to …

Sarah@SXSW

Sarah@SXSW

March 7th, 2014

Hello from Austin!

By SARAH M. VASQUEZ

Hey West Texas! I will be your Big Bend Now correspondent at South by Southwest this year. I’ve covered the festival for years, so I know a little bit of what I’m getting myself into (lack of sleep, heavily caffeinated, suppressing my fangirl in front of celebrities, etc). The plan …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

March 6th, 2014

Lingering racism and Mexican scapegoats

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: My dad says when he was a kid growing up in Downey, California, they used to open the local plunge (pool) to mexicanos and negritos on Thursdays only, because the pool was cleaned once a week on Friday mornings. Is this an accurate account of racism in …

high desert sketches

high desert sketches

March 6th, 2014

More desert wisdom

By GEORGE A. COVINGTON

Rather than give my usual historic perspective involving the works of Voltaire and Swift and their similarity to my writing, I will give the definition of satire provided by the internationally renowned Hispanic philosopher and media personality Leo Dominguez. Dominguez wrote: “My definition of satire is simply the cognitive conjuring …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

March 6th, 2014

50 years of fraternal memories

By STEVE LANG

“I think you’ll be glad later you weren’t here now.” – Robert Hoover (James Widdoes) in “Animal House”

All I truly know – or suspect – about college fraternities may be summed up in two hours of hilarity via Harold Ramis’ hit film “Animal House.”

One general secret to success seems …

the anti-fan

the anti-fan

March 6th, 2014

Tiger and “the bump”

By JIM GORDON

Sometimes all it takes is a bump.

A basketball player heading to the hoop loses the angle for his shot.

A wide receiver, thrown off stride, is late on a route.

A forward can’t quite get to a midfielder’s pass.

Such bumps, delivered by an opponent, are designed to destroy the timing of a …

¡ask a mexican!

¡ask a mexican!

February 27th, 2014

The Mexican and familial hatred

By GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Dear Mexican: Why is there in every Mexican family a jealous cousin driven by insecurity?

Must Excuse Vulgar-A$$ Lingual Expression

Dear ME VALE: Take your pick. It’s because a) Your dad unwittingly insulted their dad back in the rancho when they were boys, and your cousin was taught to hate you …

steve’s funny column

steve’s funny column

February 27th, 2014

Groping for a sense of place

 By STEVE LANG 

“I am here; and here is nowhere in particular.” – William Golding

According to a geographic horoscope/personality quiz, every place I supposedly belong is someplace else.

A website called “Buzzfeed” has designed a quiz titled “What state do you actually belong in?” According to my initial answers, it’s not my …

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